RandyJohnson.org

The Blog Is Back

-

I’m not sure where to start or what to say, but I’m back to publishing publicly.

I write privately basically every single day. Whether it’s with pen and paper, in my Notes app on my iPhone, using one of my 50+ year old typewriters, or just having long text/email/social media conversations with friends/family/clients.

Regardless of the platform or medium:

  • I write a lot.

  • I consider myself a writer.

  • A lot of my time is spent writing or writing ideas.

  • Several people that I’m a fan of are writers/authors.

  • Writing feels like the most freeing form of creation for me.

Over the years, I have made a lot of my writing public:

  • So many Instagram posts with long written captions.

  • Plenty of Facebook posts.

  • The occasional blog post across various websites.

But I want to do more.

So here I am doing more.

There’s no reason I can’t create one blog post per week, but I honestly have enough time (or I can make the time) to write something here daily.

I’m not sure what schedule I’ll stick to just yet, but I am back to doing this, consistently. Because keeping my notes and thoughts and ideas and knowledge to myself is doing the world a disservice.

“Don’t die with your music still inside you.”
-Wayne Dyer

Owning a Big House Used to Make Me Happy

-

I looked at 75 houses before I signed my life away. I’m pretty sure my realtor hated me, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to take one of the biggest purchases of my life lightly.

Back in 2009, I can’t even remember what my mindset was even like, or what was going through my head. Did I really want to move out of my mom’s house? I’m not sure.

I turned 27 that year, in August. This was probably about the time I was deep into the house hunting game.

There was a girlfriend in the picture then, so part of my decision making was taking into account what she would want too.

But I remember being selfish then. I probably still am to some degree. I think we all are.

I wanted a lot of garage space, so I could build trucks with my friends. Even though I’m not mechanically-inclined, like my dad and my friends. We all tell ourselves lies from time to time.

We both wanted a lot of space to entertain our family and friends. That meant so much to me at that time.

Maybe because I felt like I had very few friends in school, and I carried that with me for years. Until I discovered alcohol, but that’s another story for another day.

We’d party with our friends all the time, but there was never a specific house to party at. I wanted our house to be that house. And it was for a couple years.

Anyways, the house that I ended up purchasing (my name was the only name on the mortgage and always was, and that pissed off a couple girlfriends), I walked through it on the first day that I went looking at houses.

Then I looked at 74 more houses. Then I came back to this house. Something about it just made sense. I think we both liked it. At least I did. I think I did.

After getting everyone’s opinions on it, because I still struggle at making decisions on my own, it was time to sign a million papers.

It was a week before Halloween, and I still remember getting the keys, and being so excited to park my truck in my own garage. I still have the photo, and it’s somewhat nostalgic when I look at it.

I knew the house needed some updates here and there, and we were cool with that. Right away, I rented all the equipment to resurface the hardwood floors in the entire house. Over 2,000 square feet of hardwood floors. I still have zero idea where the motivation came to take on that project. I always looked at those shiny wood floors, shook my head, and asked myself, “Did I really do all of this work? Me? Couldn’t have. Randy wouldn’t have taken on a project like this.” But I did. And it was an amazing feeling once I finished.

The rest of 2009, all of 2010, and most of 2011, those years were filled with parties, decorations, parties, yardwork, more parties, and not much else. I never took on anymore big projects, other than having family or friends paint, or do basic things like put a microwave on the counter and change light bulbs.

Life wasn’t always easy, but it was simple. Looking back, it kind of felt like it was on cruise control for the most part.

We were just doing the normal things you do when you’re in a relationship. I still remember a comment she made at one point. Something about this being a great starter home and how it would be nice to get something bigger down the road.

I’m not sure why that comment always stood out to me. Even a decade later. Maybe because I consider myself more of a minimalist these days than I did back then.

It could also have been the fact that most women want to settle down and have kids one day. I’m sure that was on her mind at times.

I’ve always been someone that doesn’t want kids. But some of my friends were having kids, and even one of my sisters had a kid at this point. I guess it wasn’t totally out of the question at that point.

So I probably thought, if I did have a kid, this house was big enough for a family for sure. But I still didn’t want a kid, and if you’ve ever dated me, you’re well aware of that.

After dating for about 3.5 years, and living in the house for almost 2 years, I felt like it was time to ask her the question.

I don’t even know if I ever saw myself actually getting married. It wasn’t something that I really thought about, and I think most guys put it in the back of their minds. But their significant other, and her family and friends, will bring it up often, so there’s no escaping it.

But honestly, being engaged was fine. It just seemed like the next logical thing to do I guess. I mean, that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?

Graduate high school, go to college, get a good job, find a girlfriend, buy a big house with a white picket fence, get married, have 2.5 kids, and keep up with the Joneses until you die one day.

I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing up until this point. I was just going down the path that most people go down, we were all following the American script.

And then, at the end of 2011, after being engaged for about 4 months, it was over. She ended it.

It was a shock to me. I still remember a lot of details about this day. It was the day after Thanksgiving. It was truly a Black Friday.

What I remember even more vividly was picking her up to grab some food a week or so after this. We went to Chipotle.

I still remember the table we sat at, and how I was thinking that we were going to get back together and everything would work out.

But that wasn’t the case. This was actually just a meeting. A meeting where she’d hand me the engagement ring back.

I wasn’t prepared for that. I remember immediately getting up and going to the bathroom. I was in there for a bit. I cried. I knew it was over for good. I also thought, how am I ever going to eat here without thinking about this moment.

I walked back to the table and said let’s go. I threw my food away. I think I only took a couple bites. You know it’s a bad day when I throw Chipotle away.

Once I was back home, alone, I realized that I now had this giant house to myself. My first thought was to sell it, but I just got busy with other things. A big part of me wishes I would have sold it at that point and got an apartment, or moved in with a friend, or moved back with one of my parents.

But when I signed the papers to buy this house, I made sure that I could still afford it, even if I was on my own. So I think part of me had to prove to others and myself that I could still do it.

Money was obviously tighter, but at least I had a job.

But then in early 2012 (February 17th to be exact), I randomly lost that job. Fuck. Another story for another time.

Fast forward to today, April 2020. I sold this house on March 6, 2018. I lived there for almost nine years. That was roughly 25% of my life. It was a pretty big deal.

Currently I’m renting a room from my friend in this huge industrial place downtown. I’ve been doing that for the past 2 years. It’s been a great experience, I’ve saved money compared to what it was costing to “own” my house, and it was the pattern interruption that I needed.

For the last few years that I had that house, I was single. Same with the first year living downtown. It’s been almost a year since I met my girlfriend, and I stay at her house a lot, which is in the fancy suburbs not far away from my place.

As a pretty frugal person, I’m always looking at ways to save money, cut monthly expenses, and get rid of the excess. So if I’m staying in one place a lot more now, and that situation is working well, plus I’m paying for rent for a bedroom that I’m not staying in that often, I think financially it makes sense to move on.

Plus after a couple years, I feel like I’m ready to break the pattern again.

So at some point this year, I’ll likely be moving out of my current shared space, and moving in to another shared space. It will be smaller, it will have a bit more privacy, it will cut my living expenses in half, and it might just be the change that I need in this chapter of my life.

It’s funny, for so long I would laugh at people that said they needed to live in a certain city or climate or type of property. I thought they were just making excuses. Like “I can’t get anything done living in Dayton, Ohio. I need to live in Los Angeles. I NEED to.” Now, I think I get it.

Your environment matters so damn much, and I never would have said that phrase back in the day. All of your environments matter. Where you sleep, who you surround yourself with, your workspace, etc. While I love my friend, and I love the modern space downtown we call home, and I love the creative vibes that are flowing in and around there almost daily… I think this environment doesn’t work for me with who I am at this current moment.

It’s weird, I know. The creative person doesn’t want to live in a big creative space. How odd.

I’m very introverted (INFJ from my research) and I crave solitude. I think I was way more productive when I had my old house because it was just me living there, and my environment was setup in a way that was pretty efficient and had less distractions.

If I move in with my girlfriend and her kid, will that be the perfect environment? Probably not. But I think with our schedules, it will work out pretty well. (If you’ve followed me for awhile, you know I don’t want kids. I’ve tried dating/living with someone else that had a kid, and that didn’t work out at all. But I think this situation is insanely different. And again, if I try this, and it doesn’t work out, I can always get my own place somewhere else. There are always options, you never have to be locked into something.)

I’ve downsized a lot over the years, and especially after I sold my house. I’m currently selling a lot of stuff that I never use, to remove the clutter, but also to pay off debt. I like simplifying. It’s one piece of advice that I give everyone, regardless of their situation. Simplify simplify simplify.

Plus, with the virus shit that’s still going on, making smarter financial decisions should be most people’s top priority, right after keeping themselves and their family alive.

I still have my cargo van and my small enclosed trailer. If I got rid of everything I don’t need or want anymore, everything I own can fit inside of those two spaces. I will sell my old car soon, as I rarely drive it anymore, and I’d rather have the cash instead of a paperweight (sorry Subaru, I still love you).

I still consider getting a small motorhome. Something inexpensive that has a dinette area (so I can sit there and work on my laptop), a bed, and a basic cooking area. A full bathroom would be nice, but isn’t as mandatory as the work area. If I’m living with my girlfriend, and I need more alone space at times, I could jump in the RV in the driveway or hit the road if I need to really get away. But I think I can make some changes in my current van to make this work, that way I don’t spend $4,000-$10,000 on a rig when that money should go towards debt and savings and Chipotle.

I have no idea what the perfect scenario looks like. None of us do. We have ideas and opinions, but it will never be 100% perfect anyway. All you can do is try something new when you notice yourself in a funk. I’ve been in a funk for awhile, and that’s why I need to make a change.

New habits, new ideas, new environment.

Quarantine Life

-

I guess it’s been about a month since the quarantine started.

But I don’t think that term really makes sense. Quarantine. It sounds like you are thrown into the hole in prison. No contact with anyone, no sunlight, nothing to keep you busy… nothing but silence.

In reality, this period of isolation seems like a mild spring break vacation for a lot of people. We can come and go as we please.

I’ve been to the grocery about 5 times, I’ve been outside walking and running, I’ve been to a few different houses, I can drive wherever, and I see a ton of people out and about like nothing is different.

Luckily, my life is pretty much the same as usual, except for all of the truck shows being canceled, and this is probably the longest stretch of time in my adult life that I’ve gone without eating food from a restaurant. March 12 was the last time I ate at a restaurant, and March 11 was the last time I had Chipotle. If you know me, you know this is unheard of. I just don’t want to take the risk of getting sick just because I wanted the convenience of fast food. I guess it’s a good thing that I like simple meals that I can easily make at home, plus my girlfriend also enjoys cooking, so skipping restaurants for the time being isn’t a big deal for us.

This is also a great time to test your willpower. To abstain from something you’ve done so much in your life. Chipotle is one of those things for me. It’s funny how it’s just a restaurant, but it’s always been more to me than that. A place where I celebrate the good times, a place where I go to soak up the sad times, a place of familiarity when I travel to new places, and a place to share stories with others. So yes, I miss Chipotle, but I’ll have it again soon.

As far as work goes, I’ve been in the same funk for a couple years now. And this quarantine is no different. I still get work done. I have finished many projects over the past couple years, but I’ve been distracted way too much to stay consistent with things. Even this writing. I say I’m going to write every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes. But I usually write about my day in my pocket journal, which is fine. But I keep saying I’d rather publish more public things. But I never do it. So here I am, trying to do what I say.

I try to plan everything out, but that usually gets me nowhere real fast. I love writing, but I seem to only do it on social media, mainly Instagram. Nothing wrong with that, but why wouldn’t I write it here instead? This blog is indexed by Google and other search engines, plus it’s way easier to organize my thoughts on my own website instead of through social media. For example, if I wanted to find all of the posts I made about Chipotle on Facebook, that would be nearly impossible. But I could tag every Chipotle post on my blog with the “chipotle” tag, and instantly find them all.

It’s funny how I usually know what to do, I just don’t always do it.

I’ve taken on several website jobs, then procrastinated until the client asks what’s going on. I’ve setup pre-orders for things and didn’t deliver them on time, or at all (trust me, I’m going to finish that merch course). I’ve started reading new books, then drifted into other books, resulting in a stack of half-finished books. I go through my room and throw everything I don’t want anymore in a huge pile, super motivated to get rid of it all right then, then it just sits there for months collecting dust.

I write in my journal almost daily about how I need to do more podcasts, write more blog posts, do more online courses, shoot more photos, start a YouTube channel, finally give this Tik Tok thing a try (damn you GaryVee), etc. But I rarely do any of those things. Instead, I keep reading books and articles online, I research things to death when I probably won’t even go forward with a purchase of those things, I watch the news when I usually never do that, I plan vacations for the distant future, I start new businesses instead of focusing on the ones I already have, I play cards for hours, I talk on phone calls for too long, I stay up too late and sleep in (I still have the worst sleep habits), and ultimately I just find ways of distracting myself when I know what I should be doing.

So here I am, writing a damn blog post, because I’ve been talking about doing this for far too long.

The quarantine isn’t an ideal way of life, but it is what it is. So we can be upset about it and throw a fit, or we can do something about it. What am I waiting for before I actually start doing something?

I was debt free and nothing changed. Now I’m not debt free again, and I’ve said, “once I’m debt free again, all of this will be easier.” No it won’t. It was the same thing before I sold my house. “Once this house sells, life is going to be insanely amazing!” No, it wasn’t. I sold my house and life was the same. Even when all the stars align, your life is mostly the same as it was before. People (myself included) wait for all the luck in the world to be in their favor, for everything to be handed to them, and they think they’re magically going to change who they are as a person.

It doesn’t work like that.

You have to focus on your daily habits. Your consistent habits are the things that turn you into who you are. For me, I want to create things, I want help other people with my knowledge and skills, and I want to have great health. Just because we are told to stay home, doesn’t mean I can’t prioritize those things. Sure, some people have been workaholics for many years, and this is the first time they’ve gotten a break. They are relaxing, and that’s fine. Everyone knows what they need, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to any of this. We are all still figuring out how life works during a quarantine.

But there are plenty of others who have these big goals and aspirations that they want to accomplish, yet they are just watching Netflix all day and refreshing the news. That’s not helping anyone, and it’s pushing you further away from the life you say you want.

Figure out a simple routine that focuses on your priorities. We all have enough time to do the things we want. We all have different responsibilities, but we all have the same 168 hours per week, and you can think of several people who are crushing it out there. So what’s your excuse?

A basic daily routine for me could include an hour of creative outlet time (writing, photography, painting), an hour of helping others (providing a service like web design, offering private coaching, recording podcasts, producing online courses), and an hour of exercise (walking, bike ride, push-ups, hiking, jump rope). That’s only 3 hours per day. It might sound like a lot, but that still gives me 8 hours to work, 8 hours to sleep, time to eat, get ready, and a few hours of downtime. Of course you can tweak the numbers for your own situation. And if an hour seems too aggressive to start with, just do 15 minutes of each. Hell, do 5 minutes of each. Just get in the habit of doing it daily, and next thing you know, you’ll be so used to it that it would be weird to skip a day.

After writing that, it’s clear I know what I need to do, I just have to do it. I have written basic schedules in my various notepads for years, about how I would structure my perfect day. I think I’ve written about it a few times on this site too. But nothing sticks, because I don’t do it religiously. I’m not religious, but I need to treat this shit like it’s sacred. Nothing gets in the way. Nobody interrupts me. No other plans are too important. No excuses.

But nothing will happen if I spend days and weeks agonizing over the perfect routine. Perfection is an illusion. There’s no perfect schedule, for me, or you, or anyone. I think the issue is that I’ve tried too much, but I haven’t done enough. Stop trying, start doing. You either do or you don’t. There is no more trying.

So in closing, the quarantine life for me is very similar to my normal life. Yes, a lot of stores are closed, yes I’ve skipped all restaurants, yes I’ve missed all the traveling opportunities and all the events, yes I’m inside more than normal. But I can still make the best of my situation. Complaining about why this isn’t fair isn’t going to get me anywhere. I am lucky that I can do my work from anywhere, and I still have some clients sending me work, and I’m still getting online orders… so I have nothing to complain about.

I’m grateful and can’t wait to look back on this pandemic/quarantine/isolation period as one of the best things to ever happened to me. Will you say the same thing? I hope so. Maybe this will be the thing that pushes me out of my comfort zone and gets me to say fuck the fear. What’s the worst that can happen, right? I hope you are safe and healthy, and I hope you use this quarantine time to your advantage.

How I Can Basically Work From Anywhere

-

“That sounds awesome! But for real, when are you gonna get a real job?” -Most Humans

As I write this, I’m sitting on my red leather couch in my bedroom here in Ohio. Yes, leather. It’s probably real. Yes I’m vegan. Yes I see the irony, but I bought it seven years before I became vegan, therefore I will keep using it until I no longer get value from it. But that’s besides the point. It’s 4:10pm on a Monday, and I’m working from my bedroom, and I haven’t left the house yet today.

A week ago I was working from a local Starbucks. I actually worked from different Starbucks locations for a week or two. I didn’t purchase anything from any of them, and I’m not even a coffee drinker.

During the long Thanksgiving / Black Friday / Cyber Monday weekend, I was working from my mom’s apartment and my sister’s apartment, both in Florida.

Before that, in October, I was updating my online shop’s inventory from my friend’s swanky condo in downtown New Orleans. It wasn’t his. His work paid for it for some sort of work conference. But I hung out and stole some WiFi for a couple days.

Good for you, but I can’t do that.

Well, you could. Several people have told me I’m lucky and they wish they could do what I do. I always tell them the same thing: you could. Most people won’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible for you.

I want this lifestyle more than you want a family, or a new car, or a big house, or fancy clothes, or a yacht, or nine dogs. All of those things are cool, but I don’t need them, and I don’t want them. At least not enough to give up this freedom that I’ve built.

You likely have a normal job. Nothing wrong with that. You might also have all of the things that I just listed too. Again, no issues there. But for the people that wish they could travel more, and work for themselves, and have more location independence, you might have to give most of those things up (ok, you don’t need to sell your kids on eBay).

We all have different priorities, but this is written for the people who don’t want the normal 9-5 career, and they don’t want to keep up with that crazy Jones family (or the Kardashian’s either), and they want to create their own version of the “American Dream,” instead of settling for the default.

So yes, you have the opportunity to work from wherever, if that’s what you honestly want. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight, but it is an option.

So what the hell do you even do for work?

I do several things. Some bring in money, some don’t. But I have scaled my life down a lot over the years, so I don’t need millions of dollars rolling in. And you don’t need seven or eight figures either, so if you’re looking for a get rich quick scheme, your mindset is broke.

Fix your mindset, then spend your life doing shit you enjoy, rather than stressing yourself out on the constant sprint towards more money.

As far as the work I spend most of my time on, it’s usually in one of these areas:

A lot of these areas are focused on my own projects, but I also do client work that falls into these areas too (typically web design).

And when I say work, again, I’m not just talking about income. I love all of these things, but I don’t force myself to make tons of money from them.

All seven items in that list are basically various forms of art. Maybe I’m an artist. Maybe I’m a designer, or a marketer, or a salesman, or just a content creator. I don’t know what my title is, and it doesn’t really matter.

Maybe I’m lucky for being interested (passionate maybe) in all of these things since they all relate to each other. Being a good photographer can help when it comes to making better looking websites. Learning to write better helps with marketing and podcasting. Being excited about marketing is good for basically all the other skills.

Some people will tell you to just pick one thing and go full steam ahead with that one thing. While I get that, and I mostly agree with it, there’s nothing wrong with having multiple disciplines (multipotentialite) if you’re the type of person that genuinely loves doing a variety of things (like me). Especially when they’re all intertwined.

Plus having this skill set is nice, because all of it can be done with a small amount of overhead. If you want to start a web design business, you really just need a computer and an internet connection (you could even use a library computer and their internet, allowing you to almost have zero overhead, even though that’s not ideal for most people).

Want to start a photography business? Purchase a small amount of used gear and shoot everything for months or years. Build up a portfolio shooting things for free, then start charging, then slowly increase your prices as you get better. You can take great photos with around $500 worth of gear, then upgrade as your business grows.

How about a podcast? Simple. Get a basic USB mic, a computer, editing software (there are free options), and get to work.

You don’t need a $200k loan from a bank to do any of these businesses. The merch option is the only one that might have a lot of costs involved with it, but they aren’t mandatory. There are several ways to run a low overhead clothing brand. It’s actually the only thing I’m doing that keeps me in one location most of the time. I could switch things up and have zero inventory, or I could pay someone to handle all the fulfillment, but I’m not worried about that just yet.

Anyways, most of the work I do can be done from pretty much anywhere in the world. I just need my laptop. WiFi is easy to find in most places, and if it’s not available, I can use my phone as a hotspot. And if my phone has no signal either, I can focus on doing work that doesn’t require the internet, like writing, podcasting, etc. And then finish my work when I’m back to civilization.

Again, that’s nice for you, but I can’t do those things.

No one said you have to be a clone of me. This is just what I enjoy and what I’m good at. There are plenty of people who work remotely or run businesses from their laptop that are different than what I do.

That reminds me, you don’t have to work for yourself either. A lot of people have a job, but they have the flexibility to do that job from wherever. As long as the work is getting done, the boss doesn’t care. I wish more jobs would understand this.

But if you want to have complete freedom, I suggest figuring out how to monetize your knowledge and skills. Don’t worry about trying to build the next Facebook or Uber, just find a skill or a problem that others have, and have people pay you for your services and/or products.

There was a time when I didn’t know how to do any of the things I’m doing. But each thing that I listed above, I just found a way to learn how to do each of them. Here’s how I figured out how to do what I do:

  • Web Design – I learned graphic design in college, and we briefly touched on websites. But I started to learn on my own after college through trial and error. Then I learned more at a couple jobs. Then I was ready to give up. Then a past classmate mentioned this new platform he was using. Then a coworker at my last job explained some tools. Then my curiosity went into overdrive and I spent a ton of time trying new things, watching tutorials, reading books, etc. Now I’ve been hired to do website work for clients all over the world.
  • Merch – I ordered a handful of shirts like a decade or so ago. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I asked a lot of questions. I watched YouTube videos, I searched Google for answers, I asked friends that were doing it already. Then I ordered more shirts. I kept repeating that process until I really understood what I was doing. My graphic design skills also helped a little bit in this area.
  • Marketing – We all use social media. At first it was just for fun, then when it came to selling myself and my products, I was already good at using the tools. I used to create catalogs and websites and business cards and ads at various jobs I had. I used to be in customer service at my first job. I trained customers at another job. I learned email marketing at my last job. I read tons of books. I went to conferences. I did a lot of trial and error on my own projects, as well as some client work.
  • Writing – Whether we realize it or not, we live in an age where we are writing all the time. Texts, emails, social media, etc. I’ve been doing those things for a long time. I used to write detailed instructions to customers, and now I do that with website clients. I’ve had various journals over the years, and I still do that often. Anytime I have ideas, I write them in my Notes app. I’ve been blogging on and off for almost ten years. I love writing. Just like anything else, you get better the more you do it. I read a lot, and I think that helps with writing too.
  • Photography – I used to work at a camera shop, but I was in the digital department where we focused on making photo gifts (mugs, tshirts, restorations, posters, etc). While there, I learned some good photo editing skills, that I still use to this day. I also got my first digital camera while working there. I loved taking photos, especially at truck shows. Then I saw the editors on one of my favorite websites was looking for freelance photographers, so I applied, and a couple people said I was good, so I was one of the people they chose. Then I upgraded from a point-and-shoot to a DSLR camera. Then I was shooting all sorts of things, mainly for fun. And I’ve been doing that for over ten years (seems like a lot of shit happened around 2009). Still learning, working with better gear, still shooting.
  • Podcasting – I started listening to podcasts while I was working at my last job in 2011/2012. Then a couple years later, it seemed like more and more people were doing them, and I was thinking I should share my knowledge and interview others. I didn’t know how to do it, but again, I downloaded eBooks, watched tutorials, and figured it out. Then I bought a cheap microphone. Then I bought a ticket to the largest podcasting conference in Texas. Then I was nervous to record my first episode, but I did it anyways. Then I was even more nervous to do my first interview, but I did it anyways. Then I launched the show in mid-2015 and just kept learning as I went. Even to this day I’m still tweaking things with it.
  • Online Courses – I’ve learned a lot of things as you can see. But I’m just one person, so I wanted to scale things up a bit, and help a lot more people. So I listened to successful online course creators for a couple years before finally creating my own course at the end of 2016. Then after I was finished I quickly jumped into planning out the next one (which is still in progress as we speak). But I just did my research and found the tools other people were using, and mixed in the other skills I already learned up until this point (audio recording, graphic design, marketing, web design, photography, etc). I plan to spend a lot more time on courses going forward, and whatever I don’t know right now, I’ll keep learning.

After reading through all of that (especially that last line), you probably noticed a pattern. I just figured things out. No one is coming to hand you skills, you have to learn them on your own.

And if you hate learning new things, you should probably just stay at your job and get real comfortable there. The people that find success (define it however you want), they are students forever. The world is always changing, and if you think you already know it all today, you’re gonna be real sad next week when it all changes. You have to be able to pivot when needed. The companies that go out of business, they either sell a shitty product/service, or they ruined the relationship with their customers in one or more ways, or they had an ego and got too stubborn and didn’t want to change their ways (“but we’ve always done it this way”).

I used to build websites with Dreamweaver or Flash, now I build them with WordPress and other similar tools. I used to let friends know what I was doing via MySpace, now I use Facebook and Instagram (and my blogs and email lists). I used to use an Apple computer, now I use PCs and my iPhone. The tools are always changing, but it’s never too late to learn the fundamentals of whatever skills interest you.

Ok fine, I’ll learn some skills, but I can’t just quit my job, I need money.

We all have a different definition for “enough.” The amount of money that’s enough for me is probably less what’s enough for you. If I earn $30k a year, that’s enough for me to enjoy my life. You might need (different than want) $80k a year, or $100k, or maybe only $20k. We likely have different life circumstances. But whenever you figure out what your enough is, it makes it a lot easier to understand how you’ll get there.

I also don’t advise people to just quit their job tomorrow. That would be pretty dumb. Although, if you are debt-free, and you have very low monthly expenses, and you have little to no responsibilities, and you really hate your job… maybe you should quit your job tomorrow.

But for most people, I suggest a side hustle, or a second job that is focused on something you might want to do on your own someday. “Side hustle” is a common phrase these days, but it can be a path towards more freedom.

While working my last full-time job, I had a few projects on the side. I wasn’t getting rich off them, but the extra money was nice when it came in. I started doing more freelance website work in 2011, and when I lost my job in early 2012, I at least had some money coming in. But more importantly, I had several skills that I had been practicing for years.

You should figure out at least one thing you really enjoy doing. More if you want, but at least one. Websites is what I chose, and I built websites for fun, and then started offering my services to clients. For you it might be painting, or creating YouTube videos, or personal finance, or selling cars.

Whatever it is, you can spend your time outside of your main responsibilities learning everything about that skill. Learn, practice, repeat. After awhile you’ll get better at it. To the point where others will think of you when it comes to that skill, or when they have questions regarding something related to it.

But back to you needing money. If you quit your job tomorrow to start learning a new skill, you’re gonna be stressed out because you’re trying to make money from something you don’t understand. That’s why I think most people should keep a low-stress day job to pay their bills, then focus all their time outside of their job (also outside of eating and sleeping) on their “passion.”

If you are self-motivated, then read books, watch tutorials, and put that learning into action. Do all sorts of testing, build things on your own, work for free or cheap for friends, etc. Keep learning and creating.

Sorry, I need more structure than that.

You could find a company that’s somewhat related to what you’re interested in, and get paid to learn the skills, plus having a work schedule will keep you disciplined. Or find people who are where you want to be, and become their apprentice, or work for free just to learn how they do it.

Sure you could go to college, but in a lot of ways, that will just lead you to another job, that you’ll probably grow to resent. I think college is required if you want to be a doctor. College is fine for a graphic designer… if you want a normal desk job. That’s what it got me, until I increased my skills on my own, and created my own path.

But most skills can be learned online, but college is always an option, except for that insane amount of debt that it usually comes with. Which can lead to more stress and cause you to work another bullshit job to pay off all that debt. What a vicious cycle.

I wish more people would take money out of the equation and spend their time doing more things that matter to them. There are people that hate their jobs, but they have a $500/mo car payment, a $1500/mo mortgage, Netflix, cable tv, Hulu, season tickets for their favorite football team, three closets full of clothes they don’t wear, and so much more. When they could lower or eliminate a lot of their debt and expenses, and make less money and be ok.

Most people don’t need to make more money, they just need to spend a lot less money.

You could live in a city that has a low cost of living, find a job that’s cool to work at that’s within walking/biking distance, eat simple meals at home, cancel all your tv & movie services, sell all the junk you don’t use, get rid of your car, read more books (at the library), etc. Basically live a very simple life, well below your means.

Maybe you’ll do that forever. But even if you live like that for a year or two, or maybe even three years, you should be debt-free and maybe even have a good amount of money saved up. If you were in that situation, then you can definitely afford to do your own thing with no excuses. I love this quote:

“Live a few years of your life like most people won’t, so you can live the rest of your life like most people can’t.”

Is it glamorous? In most cases no. My life isn’t glamorous at all. It would be very boring to you if you watched me 24/7 for a week or a month. But I don’t need it to be extravagant, I don’t desire all the luxuries like most celebrities. You know, the ones that you scroll past on Instagram and get depressed because they have the fancy watch or the exotic cars or they just bought a mansion on the island they also just bought.

If you pay attention to all of that and think you need that as well, you might never reach your “enough.” I’m not telling you to skip having big goals. You should do that too, but what you can skip is all the materialistic nonsense that just distracts you from having a happier life. Because those things won’t do much for you.

Tell me more about your specific situation.

Working for myself has been pretty amazing. Definitely stressful at times, periods of uncertainty, many highs, many lows, and everything in between. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The freedom and flexibility is too priceless. Back in the day, I didn’t even know this type of life was possible. Or maybe I thought it was, but reserved only for the elite. Now, I can barely remember what life was like in the 9-5 world. In just a few weeks, it will be seven years since my last real, normal, full-time job. Crazy!

It’s not a regret, but I wish I would have started sooner. If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to figure this out sooner than later. The longer you keep going down the wrong path, the harder it will be to escape it. Make the leap before you have to, or before you’re forced to.

Like I said before, almost everything I do can be done from anywhere with WiFi. I can just pack a small back of stuff (clothes, laptop, camera, phone, and maybe my passport), jump in my car or jump on a plane, go pretty much anywhere, and be able to do my work. It’s a badass feeling.

But… I do enjoy my time at home as well. Some days I’m in my room almost the entire day and I leave the house to only go to the gym. I’m the hardcore lone wolf, introvert type (INFJ). I love solitude and being alone. I love exploring new places, but I’m totally fine working away from the bed, or desk, or couch that are in my room.

I also enjoy being at home so it’s easier to stick to my daily routine and get caught up on things and strengthen my habits. When I’m not working on something, I’m reading, or sleeping, or doing some form of exercise, or eating vegan food, or finding more shit to get rid of. Maybe one day soon, everything I own will fit in a couple suitcases and I’ll become a full-time digital nomad for awhile. Hard telling with me.

When I need a break, I hit the road or the sky and just get away from everything. But I almost always have my tools with me so I can still get work done from a hotel or coffee shop or friend’s house. I enjoy my work, so it’s hard to go too long without creating something.

Anything else?

I really think more people should embrace the internet and utilize all of the online tools & platforms that are available to us. The people who hate cell phones, or don’t like computers, or can’t imagine learning anything new… they will likely be the ones who are stuck in the trap the longest. They might never get out.

If you’re always complaining about your job and money and other people, I think you need this more than others. Scale down your life, increase your skills, travel more if you want, say no to your friends more often (in the beginning), say yes to clients more often (also in the beginning), and just make it work. You’ll never have it all figured out when you start, but you’ll never start if you try to know it all ahead of time.

Some people ask me how I’ve been able to do this for so long. It’s just normal to me now. When I had two weeks of vacation time during my standard work career, it was like a tiny dose of freedom. Just enough to enjoy most of the beach trips, but in the back of my mind, I always knew I had that damn job to go back to.

But once I didn’t have a regular job anymore, the dose of freedom that I was injected with was something I had never experienced before. I had worked typical jobs from age 12 until I was halfway through age 29. I believe once you have that level of freedom, it’s too hard to ever go back to your old life. I can’t not have it.

Other people ask how I make this work, and I say, “whatever it takes.” Whatever it takes to not go back to another soul-crushing job. Whatever it takes to not be told what to do every minute. Whatever it takes to enjoy more of life.

Basically, I bet on myself. And right now, I’m still ahead on points. I hope you’ll head down this path one day too. I’ll help you anyway I can. I want this for you, and for anyone else out there that hates their current situation. Just remember this:

“You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.” -Chris Guillebeau

This photo was taken at my friends’ house in North Carolina, June 2018. They had an event that I was working at, and then I jumped on the laptop the next day while crashing at their place. Always working. They found this cat in Ohio like four years ago when they were up here for a similar event. I like to think we are both nomads and we have a connection.

82 Days Without Alcohol

-

Back in the spring of 2000, I got drunk for the first time. I tasted beer a handful of times before then, but I graduated to the next level of alcohol right before I graduated high school.

I still remember bits and pieces of that night. I was in DECA my senior year, along with 15-20 other students. From my point of view, they all belonged to the popular crowd. The cool kids. An elite club that I was definitely not a part of. Except for that night.

Discovering the powers of alcohol

We were in Columbus, Ohio for a business/marketing competition that weekend. One of the many things I do these days is I create and sell shirts, hats, stickers, and other merch to people in the custom car/truck scene. The category of the competition I was competing in was retail merchandising. Weird, I never thought I’d be doing something that’s sort of related to that.

I’m guessing the guys that smuggled the alcohol into the hotel rooms brought it from home, as I’m not sure how else we would have got it. I guess one of the older-looking guys could’ve had a fake ID, but who knows. I certainly wouldn’t have got away with buying illegal alcohol. I was 17 and probably looked like I was 14.

However the alcohol ended up in our rooms, I do remember walking around The Mall at Tuttle Crossing with everyone before the festivities began. A few of us (maybe all of us, minus our teacher) ended up in Spencer’s at one point. I remember a purchase being made there.

Later that night we were drinking out of one of those party helmets that holds a can of beer on both sides. Except we had a bottle of screwdriver on one side and a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 on the other. Sounds like gas station royalty.

There was a night club in the fancy hotel we were staying at that we ended up in. It had to be obvious we were drunk kids, but maybe things were more relaxed 19 years ago.

I don’t remember a hangover, but it would’ve had to be present the next day. All I remember is the bus ride home, and everybody asking why I never went to any parties during the past four years. Whether it was true or not, they said I was hilarious, and wild, and fun.

The cool kids thought that hanging out with me was a good time, and that I was funny.

How could this be? I was always shy, and definitely shy once I moved to a new school in 7th grade. During most of my education, I didn’t think anyone noticed me or cared to pay me any attention. I wasn’t depressed or anything, I just didn’t have those crazy high school party years like everyone talks about. It wasn’t until I started driving that dating or really hanging out with people started to become a thing.

People used to always say (I think they still do) that you shouldn’t waste your high school years, because they will be the best years of your life. When I thought about that cliché saying, that’s the only time I’d get sad or mad at myself. “Wow, the rest of my life is gonna be so boring. I’m gonna be a loser. All these kids figured it out and they won. They’re all gonna be rock stars or famous actors or marry supermodels or make millions of dollars. I’ll probably be working at this garden center 30 years from now, maybe Subway, I like their meatball subs. Oh well, maybe in my next life I’ll try harder.”

The shy kid becomes the party guy

Ok, so I got wasted with the cool kids, and then I graduated a month after that. Then it was time to finally decide on this college thing. I’ll write another post about my thoughts on college, but I eventually chose a local 2-year private art school.

The summer in between my educations, and during the college years, my alcohol intake started to increase. I was going to parties more often. And when I graduated college, I was still just 19 years old. A couple years later, I was finally legally allowed to drink this stuff. And it increased more.

Pretty much all of my 20’s was: drinking every weekend with my friends, drinking on vacations with whoever I was dating at the time, going on alcohol-fueled spring break trips, and drinking plenty of times when I’d go out to dinner with people. I think this is a pretty common path for a lot of people.

And when I say drinking, I’m not talking about one beer. I’m talking about binge drinking until I passed out somewhere, wherever. The more we drank, the better the experience… or so I told myself.

Looking back (I’m 36 now), my opinion as to why I drank so much, is because of that first time in high school with the rest of my class. I felt like alcohol was the only variable, so it had to be the reason they all liked me. It was liquid courage, and I quickly became the life of the party. Why would I give that up?

I could easily become friends with anyone in any situation. There was no awkwardness after a few drinks. In a crunch for time and need to get the party started faster? Simple. Just keep the beer in the fridge and upgrade to shots! (Never a good idea.)

Without it, I felt like the shy kid that no one wanted to talk to. When I was drunk though, I was best friends with everyone. People seemed sad if I couldn’t make it to their parties. Every holiday became a drinking extravaganza. Drinking games were the norm. Weeknight drinking became typical. The relationship arguments started to be more common. The hangovers were expected, but you just waste a day eating terrible food and being lazy, then you’re ready to do it all over again.

I felt like it was my way to always feel included. Something I rarely felt growing up. I had a great childhood, and I’m super lucky to have the family and friends I have. I love them all. I enjoy being the introvert and solitude is relaxing to me. But I “had to break out of my shell” after college, and alcohol was part of my personal recipe. It was the main ingredient most of the time.

And when I talk about what people thought of me or how I was viewed, I’m sure most of what I’ve said in this post are just false assumptions, and it was all just in my head. Another great example of how we are usually our own worst enemies.

Had they never made a big deal about me drinking and being fun, or if they shamed me for it and made me feel worse, I wonder if I would’ve had a different outlook on alcohol. I wonder if I would have never drank again after that night. I wonder if I would have been more casual with drinking in my 20’s and 30’s, you know, just a cocktail with dinner, or a couple beers at the game. I wonder if I would have drank even harder. I wonder.

But I’m not really blaming them, that’s just what growing up is like. I know that everything I’ve ever done was my decision. And everything I chose back in the day, I don’t regret it, because that’s what I wanted at the time. And every decision has led me to where I’m at right now, and I love life. I’m glad it all happened the way it did. They were all pieces to my puzzle. It’s how I had to learn.

We all need to take breaks, but is that enough?

So let’s bring this up to speed, after that insanely long intro. It’s January 2019, and a few days ago (1/21/19) was day 82 of no alcohol.

I started writing this on that day, and day 86 just began right now as I’m putting the final touches on this novel of a post. But selecting that specific number wasn’t at random. I was born on 8/2/82 and my web design business is called Eight Deuce, so any chance I get to make a big deal about the number 82, I do. Plus I also deal with procrastination, so that’s why I didn’t put this out Monday like I planned. Anyways…

I’ve done these stints before where I see how long I can go without drinking. I’ve done a month before. I’ve done 50 days before. I forget if I’ve done 100 days, but I know I did 90 days last year.

I stopped in mid-December 2017 and made it all the way to St. Patrick’s Day 2018. I planned this though. I had just moved downtown and I wanted to go out with my friends. I wanted to live this proper city life, which just had to include drinking like an animal. I mean, what better day to get back out there than doing it on this drinking holiday? Well it sucked.

I mean it was a great day/night of partying. Of course I blacked out, which was becoming more and more common. But the next morning was awful. I puked, which I’ve done many times over my alcohol career. I took a video of myself basically lecturing myself about how dumb I was to drink like that.

I even wrote something in my notes app on my phone, explaining how shitty I felt in that moment, hoping I’d read it every time before I was going to drink. This is one of the first times I’ve read it since then. I didn’t plan on sharing it, but here it is, unedited:

“Alcohol is a huge crutch. So many people have no idea what to do without it. It’s the vice of the unconfident. If you can stand up to others and put your ideas and thoughts out into the world without needing alcohol you are one of the brave ones. The weak rely on poison. Be strong. Give in, in moderation, if needed. But there’s never a time when it’s really needed. You went 90 days without alcohol and life was fine. You can do another 90 days. Or maybe 900 or even 9000. But even if it’s only 9, that’s ok too. Do whatever works best for you, even if it’s the occasional drink. But just remember, nothing feels as bad as hugging a toilet and wasting a day or two being hungover. Time is running out and wasting it being wasted is disrespectful. You’ve been given this one amazing life to do everything you’ve ever wished to do. Don’t throw it away like an idiot. You were meant to share your stories and inspire others to be better. If you can’t take care of yourself, then you’re just a hypocrite. You have a lot of life experiences, share them with the world. There’s no shame in having an alcoholic past and a non-alcoholic future. Fuck the haters. You’re not doing it for them. You are the only one who has to live your life 24/7. Be happy with what you see in the mirror.”

After typing all of that out again, I still agree with that. I was proud of myself for going 90 days, and I felt like I threw it away in one night. I definitely cut back on the frequency of my drinking over the past few years, but when I did drink, the quantity was rarely less than overboard.

When I decided to give it up for that 90-day period, it was just to prove it to myself that I could do it. I knew I could if I just made it a priority. So I did, and I did.

This current “let’s see how long I can go without drinking” challenge has no end date in mind. But it was certainly initiated after a shitty night.

What happens in Vegas…

I was in Vegas for the SEMA Show back in October/November. I’ve been out there for this car show the past five years, mainly just to party with my friends. I used to lie to myself and say that I had to be there because I’ve been into that shit forever, and I have a business in that world, but I didn’t have to be there. I work for myself, I don’t have to do anything or be anywhere unless I really want to.

So it was Halloween night and one of my friends was out there for a different event. He was going to this costume party and said I should come through. He explained the event and it sounded epic, I had to go. Good think I packed my costume!

The party was going well. Lots of people, but it was still a relatively small private event, and then we found out it was an open beer. This always sounds like a good thing at the time. It’s never a good thing for people like me.

And then we had a table in the VIP section, which means bottle service (lots of liquor). Another thing that seems badass when you’re there, but always turns into a shit show. Which it did.

There were big name bands and we were right by the stage. It was crazy… for the hour that I remember. The next several hours, I was time traveling (blacked out).

I woke up sometime around 5am, in this empty lobby area of the casino, just outside the club. I was sitting at a table, and no one was in sight. I think I was still drunk.

Anyways, I stood up, still wearing half of my costume, and I reached into my pockets. It’s that thing you do when you wake up after a long night of drinking: make sure you have your keys, your wallet, and your phone. I’ve done this dance hundreds of times.

I didn’t drive to the airport, so I left my keys back in Ohio. So those were safe. I felt my wallet. A sigh of relief. But I searched all of my pockets, and no cell phone. Instant panic attack.

I looked all around the table where I passed out. I looked all over the room I was in. I went back into the club that I thought was closed, but one VIP section was still going strong, likely fueled by all the drugs that move around these places. Still nothing. No phone anywhere.

I took the escalator downstairs and asked the lost and found desk. No one turned my phone in. I went back upstairs in the empty casino area, which seemed more like an abandoned hotel ballroom. I looked everywhere, and the depression was setting in. Plus my hotel was a 90-minute walk from where I was, and I had no way to get an Uber or a Lyft without a phone, and I guess I didn’t want to leave bad enough to drop a bunch of cash on an old school taxi. All of this on top of being dead tired. I didn’t know what else to do.

So I found a quiet corner, laid down, and went back to sleep.

I’m not sure what my plan was. Maybe I’d wake up and miraculously find my phone. Maybe someone turned it in. I guess at a minimum, I’d have more energy after a nap. But I was really hoping I’d just wake up and realize this was all just a bad dream.

Good morning sunshine

Instead I woke up to a security guard nudging me with his foot, explaining that “you can’t sleep on the casino floor.”

Obviously I got right up and explained the situation, but it didn’t matter. After one more quick look around, and another failed attempt at the lost and found, I made the long, early morning walk of shame, from Planet Hollywood back to The D on Fremont Street.

It’s November 1st, and here I am, wearing half my costume, walking down the Vegas Strip, yelling at myself for how stupid I am. I never thought that losing a phone could lead to so much self-hatred. It’s just a phone, but it held a lot of my life inside of it. I think you’d probably be just as pissed. I’m a big advocate for minimalism, and this dumb mistake was making me more angry at how much we value physical things and material objects.

Funny thing, this actually happened just over a month into my social media detox. The last time I posted on my personal Instagram or personal Facebook was near the end of September, and I said I wanted to go the entire month of October without posting on either of them. And I succeeded. I actually deleted the Facebook app from my phone and didn’t reinstall it once. I browsed around Instagram occasionally, and only made a couple posts on my business accounts. But that was totally out of character for me.

I’ll write a whole post about that detox soon, but it was weird to have gone that long without posting anything, and now the device that was commonly used for most of the social postings is missing, actually preventing me from posting.

To make a long story a little shorter, I did everything I could from my laptop back in the hotel room. I tried finding it with the Find My iPhone app, filling out a lost and found report, asking people to call my phone occasionally to see if anyone would answer, etc. Nothing.

I tried to see how long I could go without a cell phone. It was hard, mainly because I didn’t choose this path. I had an old iPhone at home, so I thought, let me just make it 2-3 more days here in Vegas, then I’ll be able to use my old phone once I arrive.

Nope. Couldn’t do it.

I only lasted about 40 hours without a smartphone before I cut my losses and moved on to the next one. I went from a tired iPhone 6 that I had for almost three years, to a brand new shiny iPhone XR.

One of the only things that made all of this better was the fact that I had 99.9% of everything backed up on iCloud. After an hour or so sitting at the Genius Bar in the Apple Store, all of my content had been downloaded and I felt normal again (when you have 30k photos/videos, it takes a minute). I can’t stress it enough, back your shit up.

The 0.01% of content missing from the switch was whatever photos and videos I took that night at the party. I personally don’t remember most of it, and I have nothing documented to remind me. It’s like it never happened. I scroll through my phone now, and there’s exactly 47 hours of nothing between my taco dinner before the party and my celebratory Chipotle dinner after getting my new phone setup. Like I went to sleep for two days and woke up in a new life.

Maybe this is a new life…

And that night was the last time I’ve consumed alcohol. Oh yeah, I also lost money playing poker two nights before that, and I was drinking then too. Alcohol ruined this entire trip. I mean, I did, but it’s because I thought adding alcohol to the mix would have enhanced the experiences, not destroyed them. I always think it will help. Oh well, you live and you learn.

So that’s a crash course on how alcohol affects me. How I fell into it at the end of my high school career, and how 19 years later, I still haven’t learned my lesson. And those are just two stories. I’m sure over time, I will explain plenty more drunken escapades that happened between those two major events.

Although, talking about my failures is never fun. I really hated writing the Vegas story, maybe because it’s still somewhat fresh. I still feel stupid. I’m better than that. But I get caught up in the moment and one drink turns to two which turns to six and leads to my brain going to sleep while my body still has more plans. Maybe someone else will learn something from all of this.

The big question that people keep asking me is: “So when are you gonna drink again??” And of course I have no idea. I don’t have an end date. I told myself I wanted to go at least 100 days. But after I made it two months, I said I should aim for six months. Now that it’s been almost three months, I told myself, “wouldn’t it be cool to say something down the road like, ‘remember 2019, that crazy year when I didn’t drink any alcohol.’ ”

Maybe I’ll make it over a year. Maybe I’ll go forever. Maybe I’ll drink next weekend. I have no idea. But if I was to bet money, I’d say I won’t drink at all this year, and I think there’s a strong chance I’ll never drink again. I really don’t need it in my life. It doesn’t lead to anything positive for me. I don’t run to it when I’m sad or depressed or mad, like others do. I work for myself and don’t have to put myself in situations where I used to always drink. I rarely ever drank alone. So many reasons why it’s probably easier for me to quit than most people, so I’m putting it to the test. I think I can permanently eliminate it from my life, but only time will tell.

If you love beer or wine or mixed drinks or whatever, good for you. I’m not trying to stop anyone from doing what they enjoy. Hell, I’ve been vegan for over two years now, and 99% of the people I interact with don’t eat that way at all. Everyone is free to do whatever they please, it almost never affects me. If you know how to “drink responsibly,” then have at it. Moderation doesn’t work well for me in most areas of my life, I’m more of an all or nothing kind of person. And alcohol certainly falls into that category. I don’t know, maybe I have faulty wiring (I keep saying that phrase after I heard Henry Rollins say it during a couple interviews).

Regardless, I will be continuing this sobriety experiment for the foreseeable future. Feel free to join me if you think you’re ready for a break.

Photo taken in a small random bar, down one of the many alleys in the Red Light District in Amsterdam. September 2018.